From Colorado to Crusty Pods

Did you know Denver is a Siamese Fighting Fish?
I read that on his fish food.

It's something like this I'm sure.

Did you know how I got the name Denver? I'm not sure myself, it might be because I eventually want to live in Denver. (The city not the fish. But who knows).
Denver is hope and a goal. And now I get to feed it small nutrition flakes with blood worms as the main ingredient.

I picked a name for Denver before I bought him,
I got a home for Denver before I bought him,
I had conversations with Denver before I bought him.

I had already created a bouquet of expectations for him to be greeted with before I even set eyes on those scales. I realize that I do this a lot with many things.

Hunger levels.
Meeting people.
Tolerance of teachers.
Shoe discomfort.
The eventual insight I may gain by speaking to a fish.

This makes me think of occasions where the fiance asks why I never really dated anyone in high school.

 I realized it was because I fell for guys that didn't actually exist.

I projected fake characteristics that I expected they fulfill.
I got disappointed by the actual result, of course.
That's what I get.

But the fiance worked out because he pounced on me before I could make any impossible delusions about him. Like willing to watch Gossip Girl with me. (I got him to do it once.)

I doubt Denver will disappoint me. Even though I made a bunch of expectations of him, I feel like him being just him will be enough.



I like to think my life is like the constant unstableness of a caterpillar lifestyle. There's that mushy fuzzy time where you just eat and grow and be cute but disgusting. Then you grow this moldy icky shell which I think of as the awkward stage in adolescence.
Middle school. Definitely middle school.

While sitting in that crusty pod of my own goop and what I once was I was thinking the whole time, "It's going to be worth it. It's going to be worth it."
Pretty sure that part was high school for me.
I had zits, braces, and a nasty attitude about myself that matched.

I graduated. Am I a Rhopalocera now?

That's the scientific name for a butterfly.
I'm brilliant. And so is google.



See you,

A&D